I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
