Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
