he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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