Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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