the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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