shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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