Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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