This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
