i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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