Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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