I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
