omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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