I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize