What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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