I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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