3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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