About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
