weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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