You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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