I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
