Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
thus making me awesome and them whores
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
