We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
