On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
