Duck Duck Cougar?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
