Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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