Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
