your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think your dad took our porno
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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