Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
