Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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