So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
