you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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