I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
