i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This house was built for laser tag.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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