so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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