I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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