how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
