what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
