sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
