So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
