12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
