What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
