Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
