we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
