She's JV to your varsity
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
