But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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