Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
