I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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