Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize