So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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