Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize