I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
