so that wasnt chicken after all
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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