my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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