He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
