went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
