Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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