Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
