Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize