she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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