your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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