Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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