I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
