Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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