the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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